Everything went better than expected. :D

The appointment with the sports doc went just fine. He was kind, helpful, and efficient, and didn't say a single word about my weight. Dr. Fancypants' diagnosis of my knee issue is patellofemoral sysndome, specifically chrondomalicia patellae. Also known as Runner's Knee (and please excuse me for a moment while I fall out laughing that I have something called Runner's Knee hahahahahaha), it's when the patella stops tracking properly in the femoral groove and starts wearing away at the protective cartilage beneath, causing a loud crackle-and-pop when I bend my knee and the feeling that there is sandpaper beneath my kneecaps, as well as some related front and side knee pain. Patellar mis-tracking can happen for a bunch of different reasons, but is apparently very common in women, as our wider hips mean the angle where the femur and tibia come together tends to be greater than men's, often leading to imablanced strength in our quadriceps, the muscle group attached to the tendon responsible for knee movement.

It can't be cured--that cartilage does not grow back--but it can be treated with exercises that strengthen the quads and other muscles to help maintain proper alignment, so I've got a prescription for physical therapy. Most likely just a few sessions so I can learn the exercises well enough to do them at home. If I don't see any improvement after that, the next step would be injections of hyaluronic acid, which basically acts as knee lube, but Dr. Fancypants thinks that probably won't be necessary for me since I am "still young and highly functional."

And the best part is that he encouraged me to keep cycling as much as I want, because it's great for the quads and nice to the knees as long as I maintain proper form. The only thing I really have to avoid is prolonged direct pressure on the kneecaps (so no kneeling on hard surfaces for very long--I'll need to get some cushions for yoga) and activities like leg lifts that push the knee in the wrong direction.