I've had this tab open for months, meaning to comment.
For starters I love this quote. Thank you for sharing it. :)
One of my big, multi-step challenges over the last few years has been: 1) Realizing that I have a HUGE emotional spectrum, with LOTS of feelings, and it is very messy. 2) Accepting that this mess of emotions is who I am. 3) Figuring out how to allow my emotions, but also to be aware of them in the moment and to channel them in healthy ways. (It's not ok to yell at people because I'm angry, for example, or to snipe at a friend because I am hurt.)
The next step is figuring out how to feel safe letting all these emotions of mine go out and play in the world. I had many years of scaring people off because in an unfiltered state I seem to feel a bit too much and be more enthusiastic than most people are comfortable with. There is old pain and scar tissue around the many rejections that came from being that very enthusiastic me. I need to figure out how to allow her again.
Interestingly, allowing my feelings to exist in their whole glorious and valid mess (as much as I am managing to do so) does wonders for eliminating depression. I may be feeling a thousand other things, and some of those feelings pinch, ache, or stab, but I'm not depressed.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2014-02-18 11:21 pm (UTC)For starters I love this quote. Thank you for sharing it. :)
One of my big, multi-step challenges over the last few years has been:
1) Realizing that I have a HUGE emotional spectrum, with LOTS of feelings, and it is very messy.
2) Accepting that this mess of emotions is who I am.
3) Figuring out how to allow my emotions, but also to be aware of them in the moment and to channel them in healthy ways. (It's not ok to yell at people because I'm angry, for example, or to snipe at a friend because I am hurt.)
The next step is figuring out how to feel safe letting all these emotions of mine go out and play in the world. I had many years of scaring people off because in an unfiltered state I seem to feel a bit too much and be more enthusiastic than most people are comfortable with. There is old pain and scar tissue around the many rejections that came from being that very enthusiastic me. I need to figure out how to allow her again.
Interestingly, allowing my feelings to exist in their whole glorious and valid mess (as much as I am managing to do so) does wonders for eliminating depression. I may be feeling a thousand other things, and some of those feelings pinch, ache, or stab, but I'm not depressed.